Artisticlly Delicious!

So what happens when you go to Chicago expecting to work the entire weekend in a high profile hairshow...and things don't go quite how you planned?
You say, f***k them and take your happy, uncultured ass to the
Art Institute of Chicago.
I'd been there one other time and didn't get to see everything I'd wanted. Though it would take several hours (or days) to comb through such an incredible establishment, this time, I DID see the things that were most important to me.


I took pictures KNOWING it was going to become a blog post for all of you.

This is for all of you that will never see the museum except for the occasional watching of Ferris Beullar's Day Off.





I can't quite tell, would you say phallic?

I absolutely LOVE the suits of armour. It makes me feel all giddy inside when I think of the Renniasance period. Sure, people were slaughtered unnecessarily due to the corruption of religion and greed...but we're doing the same things today and at least they looked bad ass doin' it in the 1400's.









And yes...anything having to do with a horse wearing armour is bad ass too!

This Reliquary is said to house the Tooth of John the Baptist. You like the reflection of my claw-like finger's gripped to my camera? Yeah, I'm like a National Geographic photographer with my creative angles. Just wait till you see my African nudes.

I'm a big fan of Angels. I didn't see who the artist was that painted this, so if this looks familiar to any of you true art buffs, please let me know so I can find a book with the rest of this artists works.

I've always loved this piece. It's actually one in a series of 3 or 4. My friends Jeff and Jess have this in their house, only it's teeny tiny (and I've thought about shoving it in my purse every time I'm over there!)

What's art without a butt shot?

Can you guess which world reknowned artist created this little cardboard demon, complete with 3-D genitalia?

Did you guess yet?

Ok, I don't want to be here all night...

It was Pablo Picasso. I thought it was a little weird too. But then again, all of those artists were tomented nut jobs.

And now it's time for another exciting round of....

ART or SHART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The game where you decide if the piece is art or a piece of shit.

Our first selection is a 25 ft high canvas, painted....black. All over.

And I thought it was hard to watch my husbands wide screen while it's tuned in to "Attack of the Show!"

CALL IT OUT NOW.....

ART or SHART?????

Our second piece in contention for sharthood is a seemingly large frame, with an equally large cable protruding off of the piece, and onto the floor.

OK now, ART or SHART??? Hell, I'll give ya' the 411 on this because otherwise it dosen't stand a chance as acceptable art.

Our third artistic quiery comes to you in the form of an old drawer, with a marble of the earth and the smallest enema bulb I've ever seen. Wait! Maybe it's the artists interpretation of "the world's smallest enema bulb"

Alright, now I get it. It's art..............

for me to shart on!

And finally, our last creative questionable looks like my son's bedroom. I wasn't able to get the bio on this "Piece?" but it reminds me of the recycling projects we use to have to do in high school.

Everyone would wait until the last possible minute to think of something to do to better our home planet, and then run out to Goodwill, buy a ripped, stained, one eyed, teddy bear for 10 cents, pay for it in canadian pennies and say they were going to give it to a deserving child that otherwise, would never recieve such a treasure. Somehow, this jackass got his selfish, ignorant idea to stick, and some other jackass called it art.

I will admidt the pink snake is pretty cool. ANYWAY, VOTE DAMIT!

ART or SHART?!?!?!?!?!!?

That'll do it for my art show. I have but one last thought for you to ponder.

Thats artist for: "make like a man that just found out his girlfriend is pregnant, and LEAVE"