Thursday, January 05, 2006

If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, TRY THIS:

Enter Mexico illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.

Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and you entire family.

Demand Bilingual nurses and doctors.

Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc. Procreate abundantly.

Deflect any critisism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, "Is is a cultural USA thing. You would not understand pal."

Keep your American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from your rooftop or proudly display in your front window, on your car bumper, or heck, drape it off of your shoulders and run around with it looking like SuperMan.

Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise.

Demand classes on the American Culture in the Mexican school system.

Demand a local Mexican drivers license. This will afford other legal RIGHTS and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal presense in Mexico. Oh, and bring someone with you to help you if you need to take a written drivers test. Most likely it will be in Spanish, and even if there is a test in English for you, two minds are better than one, right?

Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic laws. On the fourth of July, feel free to drive through all red lights, blaring your horn as you do so.

Insist that local Mexican law enforcement teach English to all it's officers.
Good Luck! You'll be demanding for the rest of time or soon be dead.

BECAUSE IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. It will not happen in Mexico or ANY other country in the world except right here in the United States, Land of the naive and stupid, idiotic politically correct polliticians.

If you agree, you probably grew up on the Southside of Milwaukee like me, or Chicago, parts of Florida, Texas, or virtually anywhere of California.
If you don't agree, go ahead and try the above in Mexico or Iraq

4 Comments:

At 10:01 AM, Blogger Addy said...

Before I'm fed to the Lions, or given the "Spanish Inquisition" lol
This was a joke I recieved and decided to post up here to generate conversation. Most of these things hold truth for me as I HAVE witnessed their occurances growing up on the Southside of Milwaukee. I have many friends that are of Mexican/Spanish decent, and they would agree with this too!

 
At 2:03 AM, Blogger Elle said...

Hi Addy,

Nice piece !! Hilarious ...

And thanks for visiting my blog !!

Yeah you're right ... blogging is good for relearning the art of
self-expression :)Blogging is good therapy - cheap too !!

You asked about Kenya - it's bright and warm this time of year .... it's the best time for
holidaying - temperatures are well over 20 degrees (celsius) from
November to March. If you want to travel, this is definitely the best
time. If you prefer cooler temperatures July to September is ideal
(about 12 - 22 degrees celsius at that time). Check out some of the
links on this page - http://www.web-fundi.com/portfolio.php - for some
great holiday destinations.

Warm regards,
Michele.

 
At 9:33 AM, Blogger Addy said...

Thanks for the great info Michele!
I'd love to be able to visit Kenya someday...maybe once my kids are older.
I just think it's amazing, the technology we take advantage of today, I'm chating with someone from Kenya like you just live next door.
Thanks for visiting, and I hope to hear from you again!

 
At 10:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hell, you can't even do this in Canada.

I know. I tried once.

Who knew getting hit with a hockey stick would hurt so much?

 

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