Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Bloggers Block

*Phoo* Sorry, just had to blow the dust off of my keyboard...
Just wanted to drop in on my desolite blog to let everyone know that I am still the operator and blogger-in-cheif of this site. However, my creative inspirations seemed to have withdrawn from my cerebral cortex. In essence, leaving me, less than enthusiastic to resume blogging.

Sometimes, there are so many things you want to write about, but just can't. So my mind has become subject to those topics and until I've found a way to diffuse them, I will reluctantly remain silent on my site.
I know the itch will slowly creep up on me and I will once again, find myself aching to enlighten you and myself with my latest mind sparks.

Feel free to leave me comments with what YOU would like to see me write about. Remember, I'm a model, I need to be TOLD what to do!
The gauntlet has been thrown down, it is now up to you...
What would make {In}Conspicuous Construction an addiction for you
(and me)
Besides posting naked pictures of myself or deleting this blog all together?
It's like the cool fantasy books where you can choose your own ending, remember those?

so, I'm listening

Friday, February 10, 2006

ONLY A MAN WOULD THINK OF THIS

I found this little article in one of my husbands Family Handyman Magazines
(yeah, gay, i know)

Anyhoo, I read this and laughed so hard I sharted. Good thing I was on the dooper to begin with. This handy hint is to help devise a secret code for your combination lock.
Wouldn't that "secret code" BE the combination? Call me kooky
.

So basiclly, Mr. Brandau is saying that if you have a hard time remembering your combo in the first place, you should think of Additional numbers to create equations that will ultimately reveal the answers, that being your beginning combination...you couldn't remember to start with?!?
I can just imagine a man being held at gun point trying to remember which number he needs to add or subtract to open his lock:

"Was it 7?...cause baby I'm heaven" *snickers* "No, thats not it"
"Wasn't it the age I lost my virginity to our maid?"
"Wait! It's the number of illegitimate children I have... Thats it!"

I've got a handy hint for ya'. Fella's, just remember the 3 god damned numbers that are assigned to your combination lock. It's not like we expect you to remember our birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines Day, Sweetest Day, the first time we made love, when the children were born, or not to dry our cashmiere sweaters with your work jeans.

It's just a combination lock.


Thursday, February 09, 2006

The Smiling American

My pal Aaron recently posted this queiry on his blog:

Random Liberal Thought
If a simple political cartoon can cause violence and unrest in the Middle East, can we draw a cartoon that will create peace?

To which many of his faithful readers replied with comments only the insane lament.
Well, I love effin' with Aaron, it's one of the small joys in my life, so I replied to his post with this comment:

"That would be a funny *** cartoon.
I can just picture it....
An American person would be face down in the sandy terrain of the Middle East, with his ARSE up in the air. You would know he was American because of his "I Love NY" T shirt. He would have Old Glory cluched in his cracker*** while a dark skined, strange looking man with a towel on his head anxiously attempted to clank two sand rocks together to light the fuse connected to the American Flag. Though scared at times, the American would sport a sinister smile out of the side of his face.Why would this be? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?"

Besides the fact that Aaron said this was the first "on point" comment I've ever posted on his crusty blog, he then wanted to know why the American in the cartoon would be smiling.
I refused to answer based on the fact that most of his readers, I would think, would love the opportunity to improv their own ending to this mysterious, non-exhisting cartoon.
Why do you think the American is smiling????

Post your answers here so I can go over to Aaron's blog and show him how much smarter and wittier my readers are!
BTW If anyone would like to sketch up this cartoon idea that spawned in my little mind, I'll post it up here and of course, give you props!

MAGIC EYE

This is one of those brainteasers where two photos look exactly alike, but upon closer examination, small differences may appear.

I'll give you a minute to scrutinize............................................................


Did you find the differences between the picture on the left and the picture on the right???

Ok. I know it's tough, here's the answer:
In the Picture on the left, the specimen is wearing a necklace.

Thanks for playing, and Mayor, I apologize in advance.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Why I love Andy Rooney

I'm not necessarily in agreeance with everything he had to say when he delivered this a few weeks back. BUT, I agree with MOST of it.

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers.

The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America.
Try to have things like the UnitedCaucasianCollege Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English!
As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich I don't pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent.
I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe.
I am proud to be from America and nowhere else

And if you don't like my point of view, tough...

Silence is Golden

I apologize that my blog has been so quiet lately. I have had a lot going on in my REAL life, apart from blogger. But believe you me, I've still been reading, and reading I have. I must admidt, besides my warped Canadian band of brothers over at Mitchieville, I'm a little disappointed with the rest of you.

I mean, C'mon Aaron, you didn't even critisize the superbowl commercials!
I personally loved the Bud commercial with the little Clydesdale colt trying to pull the ceremonial wagon (it brought a tear to my eye), and the streaking sheep Bud commercial was HILLARIOUS!
In case you don't remember all of the commercials, This'll refresh your memory
It's 20 minutes of pure commercial watching. It's what makes us uniquely American..
Besides, I need the stall time to think of something to post up here for you jackels.
I've got so much I'd love to talk about, unfortunately, I can't at this time...
they might be watching me.

Friday, February 03, 2006

So now you know the truth

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy
In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh.You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum.
Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho
If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Nature's Diversity Replaced with Cuddly Plush

Is it wrong that I already own a Teddy Bear Skin Rug?

WASHINGTON, DC–According to a World Wildlife Fund study released Monday, stuffed-animal biodiversity is rapidly rising, with the number of species available in plush form up nearly 800 percent since 1990.

"While the number of living species continues to plummet, the exact opposite is true of their toy counterparts," WWF director Ruth Aberg said. "This is particularly true in America, where polyester-fiber-filled replicas of even the most endangered species can be found in glorious abundance."

According to the WWF report, 885 animal species are in danger of extinction worldwide, and another 165 are classified as threatened. Of these 1,050 at-risk species, however, an estimated 970 can be found in mass quantities in children's toy boxes and on collectors' shelves.


"There are an estimated 41,000 species of vertebrates on Earth, yet until recently, only a small handful were available for purchase–tigers, bears, lions, penguins, giraffes, and perhaps an owl or a duck,".
"Even then, only the most common species within a particular genus was represented. In the case of bears, for example, you'd have the brown bear, but rarely the polar bear and never the sun bear or sloth bear."

Today, by contrast, consumers regularly encounter river otters, hedgehogs, hammerhead sharks, warthogs, capybaras (world's largest rodent, only found in Belize), opossums, tarantulas, and rare caimans found only in remote regions of the Amazon.
"Look at sea turtles, a species rapidly disappearing due to pollution and poaching," Aberg said. "Several years ago, EcoToys Inc. introduced Sam The Super Sea Turtle, a green turtle, or Chelonia mydas, complete with a tag describing its natural habitat and status as an endangered species. It was so well-received that the company then introduced an entire line of these "Half-Shelled Heros" to lovingly invade your homes and educate children worldwide.
Store shelves that were once devoid of sea turtles are now teeming with all manner of them." Even Mr. Vinny has "Dude Crush", the Sea Turtle from Disney's "Finding Nemo"



Stuffed Animal Chart

One glimpse at the chart above, and you can see how we have been attempting to preserve the delicate cycle of life that had previously been all but wiped out due to human greed and carelessness.


The rise in stuffed-animal biodiversity, experts say, has been made possible by humans' growing interest in environmental issues: Science-themed toy stores have popped up in malls across the nation. Entire shelves of such retail giants as Toys 'R' Us are devoted to animals from around the world. Beanie Baby manufacturer Ty can barely keep up with consumer demand for plush biodiversity.
"As rainforests continue to disappear at a rate of one and a half acres every second, I thought there was no hope for the leopard frog," Sierra Club associate director Dianne Wilmot said. "But Wild Republic just announced there will 5,000 more Rana pipiens in existence by Christmas.

A walk through the aisles of any toy store reveals what a diverse world we used to live in."

While Wilmot is encouraged by the stuffed-animal boom, some see cause for alarm.
"The number of species is rising way too quickly," said South Bend, IN, wildlife enthusiast Wendy Elias. "I wanted to get all the animals in the Jack Hanna collection: They're so cute, and I knew I could give them a good home. But they keep introducing new ones faster than I can make shelf space. My husband will absolutely kill me if I bring another one home."

Manufacturers, however, do not regard overpopulation as a threat.
"We have a plan, should the animals on store shelves become too numerous," said Adrian Rohn, a spokesman for Wild Republic. "We will simply employ a systematic reduction of prices to encourage bargain hunters to thin the herd."

I've heard whispers about the newest campaign launch put on by the plush manufacturers. "In an effort to further educate and sensitize children to the dimineshing world around us, there are plans in the making for the production of plush Native Americans and Jews" They'll be the hottest thing under your tree for Christmas 2006!"

Personally, I can't wait to see the accessories.





Thursday, February 02, 2006

"WRITE" ON BLOGGERS!

I saw this and had to post it for all to see. I couldn't rationalize editing much of the article because it intrigued me so much.
Again, so many of the things we take for granted here in the US, as well as Canada and other "free" countries are controversial issues for our neighbors around the world. But it is these same things that reveal the strong and resolute. These are the individuals I believe we need to truely make a difference in our world.


In the midst of ancient ruins and modern political drama, Syrian bloggers beat out the rhythms of their own lives.

DAMASCUS -- He has glasses and the kind of baby face that relatives probably like to pinch. But beneath the mild exterior of this Syrian mobile phone operator there is some righteous, youthful anger.

He expresses that anger in a blog.

"I write about everything I'm pissed off about, the things that make me angry: extremism, poverty, religion," he says with an incongruous smile.
That's a broad beat for a 20 year old, but Majd (we decide the conversation will be more open with first names only) has a lot to say.
"I've got lots of energy inside," he says at a pizza restaurant, where he and two other bloggers decided to meet with me. "I'm very affected by everything around me. When I was young, everything was discussed at our home."
His parents were intellectuals and communist party members, he says, and they encouraged him and his sister to question things.

Majd hasn't needed much more encouragement than that. His blog, called Hawa (http://hawa3.blogspot.com), Arabic for "air," is written in Arabic as well as some English.

And even though he and the other two bloggers, Ghalia and Sara, have made great efforts to emphasize to me they are not political, Majd's blog has already garnered the blogger's badge of honor: enough notoriety to prompt authorities to block access to it.
Misconceptions about Syria are why 23-year-old Ghalia, with a newly-minted diploma in English literature, says she started her blog, Cocktail (http://cocktail4.tk) in the first place.

"My cousins are Iraqis who live in America," she says, "but they always looked down on my country."
She says she began explaining Syria to them by introducing them to historical Syrian figures, which she eventually turned into her blog. "I want to introduce people to Syria," she says. "I love my country and want to share the things I love."

Sometimes it's a hard sell.

"There was a British guy that said he was afraid to link to my blog because he thought I could be a terrorist," she says. "But after reading it for a few months I think he decided I was a nice person."
Like Majd, she's not afraid of a little social commentary, which she says she usually makes with pictures rather than words -- like a photograph she posted of the newly opened Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant in downtown Damascus, with a hungry child peering inside at diners.

Ghalia writes her entire blog in English, posting four or five times a month. She usually gets only around 15 visitors, which she says is sometimes disappointing.
(YAHOO WILL CHANGE THAT FOR HER NOW!)
Regardless, she says blogging has changed her life, helping her see beyond her affluent neighborhood, a suburb of Damascus called Malkie. "I thought all of Syria was like Malkie," she says, "but when I started blogging, I got to know my own country. I got out and saw things and was shocked by the poverty."

For Sara, a 27-year-old audio engineer, her blog (http://stellar101.blogspot.com) is about sharing her personal journey -- like spending five years at Boston's Northeastern University, but not being able to graduate, she says, because of a post-9/11 U.S. policy restricting student visas.
"I felt like I wanted to connect with other people," she says. "I write what comes to mind. I'm not really trying to do anything specific."

With her blog, she tries to blend "her Western mind [open and proactive] with her Eastern heart [generous and family oriented]."
Blogging isn't cheap or easy in Syria. If you can find a provider, a home broadband connection can cost as much as $80 a month with modem rental and service fees. That's close to the average monthly income of a Syrian with some post-secondary school education.

I'm not a journalist," says Majd. "I'm not working for specific community goals and I'm not in service to anyone. But I do want people to be affected by what I write. I want ideas to be clarified."
"You're reporting about results of actions," Ghalia says to me, of my work. "We're living it. That's what we write."
"But what about censorship?" I ask. "Do you feel you can write whatever you want?"
"I don't feel any censorship," Ghalia says, "only self-censorship sometimes. I think I want to write things, but then I think they might get me into trouble."
"I'd be a liar if I said I'm not afraid sometimes," says Majd. "And my parents are afraid I might be harmed."
As soon as he says this, Majd is again uncomfortable that what I write will turn out to be not about the expressions of Syrian bloggers in all their degrees and complexities, but a diatribe about what is wrong with Syria.
I try to assure him that they, the bloggers, are the focus of my piece -- but that includes the challenges to their expression as well as the successes of it.
At the end of our meeting, Ghalia gives me a two-page letter from another Syrian blogger named Elie, currently studying anthropology in Canada.
In the letter, Elie asks me to keep an open mind in my travels through Syria and eloquently describes the nation's evolution toward becoming a more open society, while at the same time battling to maintain its sense of cultural identity:
Due to globalization, Syria is more open than ever. Indeed it is good for Syria, but it demands us to be prudent (there is a price to pay)... The problem is that exchange is one sided. Syria senses acculturation as a raging force.
We need you to show the world that we are here. Our message must not be kept hidden, it must not be marginalized, it must also not be omitted because of politics.
In fact, we as bloggers do the same as you, we try informing about
our reality and how we emotionally deal with it. We try to show, through daily
exertion, that Syria has thoughts, has pride, has strength, has spirit...
I want to tell Elie that he doesn't need me to tell the world anything -- that he, like many other bloggers, can speak for themselves, which he just did. And that is ultimately the point of it all.

NOW, Go visit their blogs and open yourselves to the world around you, just as they have.

OTHER SYRIAN BLOGS TO CHECK OUT:
-- Across Syria (http://acrosssyria.blogspot.com/)
-- A Heretic's Blog (http://amarji.blogspot.com/)
-- Syria News Wire (http://saroujah.blogspot.com/)
-- Our Man in Damascus (http://baldnomad.blogspot.com/)

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Guest of Honor Should've Delivered State of the Union


Rex, a 5-year-old German shepherd, fit in with the other Iraq war veterans who were guests of Republicans and Democrats.
Rex sniffed out bombs in Iraq. He's been the subject of congressional legislation. He's famous, and Wednesday night he became one of Mrs. Bush's guests at the State of the Union speech.

How Rex landed such a coveted seat — actually a spot in the aisle labeled "Rex" on the official seating chart — is quite a tale.

I'll let you read that for yourselves

All I'll say is that even poor Rex was held to a military contract that nearly kept him in Iraq past his original service date. It would take an act of congress before Rex would return home.

You can almost tell what Rex is thinking from his face in the picture above...
He's ready to sink his teeth into a rare, trash talking Texas Turkey.

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