New Kid on the Blog

Ladies and Gents, Allow me to introduce you to the newest blogger to grace the pages of the web.
Belly Bean K has made her debut!!!
Lets go over and give her a great big blog welcome, shall we?

I think she's gonna take Aaron's spot on Sykes blogroll...I give it a week.
Any bets people?

Enjoy!
Welcome Belly Bean!

The MOST functional Word in our language

I don't need no stinking etymologists...
The most functional word?
Well...it's shit
That's right, shit!

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.
Consider:You can be shit faced,
shit out of luck,
or have shit for brains.

With a little effort, you can get your shit together,
find a place for your shit or decide to shit or get off the pot.

You can smoke shit,
buy shit,
sell shit,
lose shit,
find shit,
forget shit,
and tell others to eat shit and die.
Some people know their shit,
while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits,
dumb shits,
crazy shits,
and sweet shits.

There is bull shit,
horse shit
and chicken shit.

You can throw shit,
sling shit,
catch shit,
shoot the shit,
or duck when shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit
or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit
or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit,
some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty
Some music sounds like shit,
things can look like shit,
and there are times when you feel like shit
You can have too much shit,
not enough shit,
the right shit,
the wrong shit
or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit,
have a mountain of shit,
or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit,
and other times you fallin a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of creation. And remember, once you know your shit,you don't need to know anything else!You could pass this along, if you give a shit or choose not to read it, because...you don't give a shit......or save it with all your other shit.

As for me, I gotta go take a shit

Soy & You. Bad Taste: Bad Reviews

Associated Press
DALLAS - Veggie burgers and tofu might not be so great at warding off heart disease after all.

An American Heart Association committee reviewed a decade of studies on soy's benefits and came up with results that are now casting doubt on the health claim that soy-based foods and supplements significantly lower cholesterol.
The findings could lead the FDA to re-evaluate rules that currently allow companies to tout a cholestorol-lowering benefit on the labels of soy-based food.

Boy, it's a good thing I never bought into that whole soy scam. I would've drastically increased damage to my tastebud's while consuming soy sludge, while my LDL production would still be producing more graphiclly than VIVID

The panel also found that neither soy nor the soy component isoflavone reduced symptoms of menopause, such as "hot flashes," and that isoflavones don't help prevent breast, uterine or prostate cancer.
Which is the main reason we were even dooped to begin with.

HERE IT IS IN PRINT:
Based on its findings, the committee said it would not recommend using isoflavone supplements in food or pills. It concluded that soy-containing foods and supplements did not significantly lower cholesterol, and it said so in a statement recently published in the journal Circulation.

Nutrition experts say soy-based foods still are good because they often are eaten in place of less healthy fare like burgers and hot dogs.

Sure. OR, I could really save myself the money and trouble and eat the cardboard boxes my kids toys come in, thus cutting down on waste and recycling costs.
What do cardiologists think about the soy revolution?

"We don't want to lull people into a false sense of security that by eating soy they can solve the problem (with cholesterol)," said Dr. Michael Crawford, chief of clinical cardiology at University of California San Francisco Medical Center.
"If they are radically altering their diet where they're only eating soy in the hopes that this is going to bring their cholesterol down, they're deluding themselves,"

And nutritionists? How do they feel about our friend the soybean?

"Soyproteins and isoflavones don't have any major health benefits other than soy protein products are generally good foods," said Dr. Frank Sacks, a professor of nutrition at the Harvard School of Public Health in Boston who led the committee. "They're good to replace other foods that are high in cholesterol."

Still, the Heart Association statement notes that soy products like tofu, soy butter, soy nuts and some soy burgers should be heart-healthy because they contain a lot of polyunsaturated fats, fiber, vitamins and minerals and are low in saturated fat.
So is CRACK, but you won't see me supplementing my diet with that.
And what do they mean by "should be heart- healthy"?

"It's important not to think about foods in black-and-white terms", said Dr. Michael Lim, director of the cardiac catheterization lab at Saint Louis University School of Medicine.
This coming from a man whose job it is to stick a small tube up the inside of your leg and run it through...God knows where, to try and find "Trouble". Listen, there's always going to be trouble if you try any procedure on me that I've seen in the Matrix.

"There's no quick fix," he said. "Our bad cholesterol numbers would certainly get worse if instead of eating tofu burgers we went out and had hamburgers each night of the week."
To him, I say F*** You and your little tofu too.
I do think of food in terms of Black-and-White.
Some cows are black and white before I eat them.
Look at the bright side, veggie burgers and tofu might not be so great at warding off heart disease, but I bet if you hang them over your front doorway, meateaters and the Angel of Death are sure to pass over.
Right now, I've gotta finish this triple whopper with cheese before my brain tells my stomach I'm full.
More controversoy here

History Lesson or X-Files Episode???

Again, I've recieved more forwarded emails from my friend Amanda. I love her to death, but jeepers woman...when do you find time to work when you forward people 30 emails a day?!? Oh well, I'm getting blog material outta've it!

This one, like the Rumored Facts email I wrote about, also intrigued me.
So I will pose a brief question for you with some visual aid, for those of you who don't remember high school-- like me.

What do these two men have in common?

OK. I can hear your wheels turning rustily. Whats that you say? -Both Pictures are Black and White?

Alright, I'll give ya' that one. Now read the email. Maybe there's some die hard history buffs out there that might present some proof to discredit this very strange and highly coincidental set of factoids between these two great men.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are composed of fifteen letters. (WOW. I hear CSI is hiring)

Now hang on to your seat. OOOOHH isn't the suspense killing you...

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.' Kennedy was shot in a car named ' Lincoln' ---made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials. Which is the way this should always go

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland

A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

(So Kennedy was also in Monroe) Sorry. I had to say it cause I knew you were thinking it too.

So maybe Lincoln consulted with a highly sophisticated killing machine sent back from the future, that being Oswald. And when he saw how lame Lincoln's time was, Oswald called up his cyborg pal, Booth to knock off Lincoln for wasting his time. I can picture the moment of escalation:

"What do you mean there's no fridge for cold brewskis?!?"

"Naw, man, I don't mean TIME Machine, I mean TYME
machine. I need a ten spot."

"No ten spot!!! This tall mutha' F***** gotsa die!"

And there are other similaities too.

1963, the year Kennedy was assassinated, was also the year Dr. Martin Luther King gave his "I have a dream" speech. Without Lincoln's Emancipation Proclaimation speech, the closest MLK would've come to greatness would been to serve JFK some New England Clam Chowder out of the White House Kitchen.

SO now that I've gotten you to read this latest set of "rumored facts" go here to read the truth.

Or is it?

The truth is out there.

Still working on it...

Bear with me folks, as I'm attempting to re-format my blog.

It turns out I'm a better writer than computer programer. And I suck at writing, so what does that tell you about my computer skills.

Addy's new friend Phil!

I've been surfing random blogs today and posting comments on some of them that have captured my attention one way or the other. So in an effort to seem non threatening or strange, I've adopted Phil here, to be my greeter to all of the new visitors I hope will take a peek around the world that is Addy.




P.S. Don't pay attention to Aaron. If you've ever seen the show
" Threes Company"...
Aaron is my Mr. Roeper

Turn Up the Heat, With Partylite

Since August of 04' I've been involved with the direct sales company, PartyLite.
PartyLite has been selling quality candles and accessories in the United States since 1973, and has expanded into many international markets. You may not have heard of them because we sell only in home demonstrations. I have found the most value in Partylite as compared to other direct sales companies (Avon, Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, Taste of Home, Passion Party) not that there's anything wrong with those, I've just found Partylite to be more satisfying for me.
So what's it all about?
The quality of PartyLite candles continues a tradition set by a New England schoolteacher and entrepreneur, Mabel Baker. In 1905, Mabel began to make candles from the bayberries on Cape Cod. Her business grew and flourished for years as Colonial Candle of Cape Cod. For more about Mabel, click here.
In 1973, Colonial Candle of Cape Cod set up PartyLite Gifts, Inc. to sell excess inventory of candles from their factory and gift shop in Hyannis, Massachusetts.

From those humble beginnings, Mabel's passion grew and GREW.
Mabel Kimball Baker died at the age of ninety-four, in 1965. That year, the business that was built from a bayberry was a $6 million operation!
PartyLite came along in 1973 as an outlet for the excess inventory from Mabel's company, Colonial Candle of Cape Cod. Today, we follow Mabel Baker's tradition of quality with a product line of over 400 candles and accessories each year. Candles are offered in more than 25 fragrances and colors, and a myriad of shapes and sizes. Where and how would you like to place a candle in your home? We've got the perfect one for you!

If you think Partylite is only a fly-by-night operation, check out our timeline of Partylite evolution

1992
PartyLite Canada opened, (yes Mitchieville...you too can have a candle party!)
1993
70,000 square feet of warehouse space opened in Carol Stream, Illinois
1994
Germany opened
1995
Carol Stream warehouse doubled in size
PartyLite Home Office expanded with an attached 20,000-square-foot building
1996
PartyLite United Kingdom opened
New factory opened in Batavia, Illinois
1997
New Home Office building adjacent to the Plymouth Industrial Park building opened, adding 100,000 square feet to the operating space
PartyLite Austria and PartyLite Switzerland opened
Opened a manufacturing facility in Cumbria, England
Opened a distribution center in the Netherlands (known as the European Distribution Center) to service Europe
1998
PartyLite France opened
1999
PartyLite Finland opened
2001
PartyLite Mexico opened
2002
PartyLite Australia opened
2003
PartyLite Sweden opened

So with all of this info, whats next? Well, Have a show!
WHAT IS A SHOW???
Relax at home, with people you enjoy. The PartyLite Consultant (thats me) brings you wonderful candles and fragrances to experience, and lovely things to enjoy. Shop for yourself or for gifts — it's so easy when you can see, smell and touch before you buy. And you'll laugh a lot, too!
Recieve PL Products For FREE!
Hosting a Show is a great way to get the PartyLite items you love at little or no cost. You can create your own list of the candles and accessories you'd like to have free or at half-price, and I will help you get them, just for having a Show. It's like having your own personal shopping spree!
Earn Special Offers!
PartyLite offers special items for Hostesses/Hosts just for holding a show. It's just one more way PartyLite says "thank you" to our valued Hostesses/Hosts.
HERE ARE THE UPCOMMING HOST/HOSTESS SPACIALS FOR YOU IN FEBRUARY!



















When you host a PartyLite Show, you’ll be amazed at the rewards. You’ll receive 25% of the sales of your Show as buying credit to choose whatever you want for your home or gift-giving needs. For 25% buying credit, Show sales must be $250 or more and at least one of your friends books and holds their own Show. In addition, PartyLite also offers exclusive free gifts for Hostesses with two or more bookings from the Show.
And I have some specials of my own for my valued hosts/hostesses:


If you would like more information on how the Partylite experience can illuminate your life as a consultant or to see more of Partylite's amazing candles and accessories, go here

Send me an email (or leave a comment) if you would like to book your OWN party with me
(if you are in WI) or if you would like a catalog sent to your home. I will contact you via email or I can call you back if you leave you number. Please, only interested parties contact me. Thats why I've held off this long posting anything on my blog about the Partylite business.
Let the party begin!

The Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here then, are the glorious winners.
Darwin Award Winners:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked...

And now, the Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast . The man, frustrated, walked away.
A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! (Drum Roll Please)
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering human kind, I decided to share these with you. Long live the Darwin Awards

Just Ducky

(Yahoo! News) Baby squirrel monkey Loki, who lost his mother shortly after his birth eight weeks ago, has grown quite fond of his stuffed toy duck.















HMMM, reminds me of someone, but I can't quite put my finger on it...















Vinny LOVES ducks too. This is Howard and Vinny last year.

I Have Cowfirmation!

Last week, I inquired about Rumored Facts that float around the net. I asked you for some insight as to the truth of these so called facts.
Well, Ally G, a welcome visitor and commentor on my blog, busied herself in the crusade to find truth. She actually came up with plenty of answers to many of the rumors I listed and very kindly posted them with provided links.
ONE, however, made me laugh so hard that I needed to dedicate this post to the investigative reporting that Ally G provided.

The Rumored Fact was: It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.



Now, I particularly found amusement in uncovering the truth to this rumor because I grew up with a dairy farm in my family. I'm sure all of my Mitchievillian friends will laugh at me more now, but some of the best memories of my childhood are tied into that farm. Though I saw a lot of things on that farm, I never witnessed a cow in the situation of having to walk down a flight of stairs. But God as my witness, I know they can climb rocks----up and down. I'm talking boulders, and the cows mastered those, so why not stairs?!?
I never thought I'd find any info on the fact though. BUT Ally G DID:
Ally found the professionals at BOVINE DESCENDERS

Here are some excerpts from their informative and unique website. Though I suggest visiting on your own to better understand this dilemma our bovine counterparts no longer have to face alone anymore thanks to the caring individuals at Bovine Descenders.

With cows being led upstairs, either deliberately by people ignorant of the prime cow / stairs principle, or accidentally, on a regular basis, work has come thick and fast, and Bovine Descenders is now the world-wide leader in the getting-cows-down-stairs field.

"It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs, because a cows' knees can't bend properly to walk back down."Source: "45 Fun Facts About Cows"
Believe it or not, there are people in this world who are not aware of this fact. Additionally, it's a fact that's easy to forget. So obviously, there is a need for a professional company whose staff:
Know this fact
Are experienced in getting cows downstairs

The Pro's even give some tips as to what you can do if ever caught in the situation where you have a cow stranded up a flight of stairs:

How can you help?
"Relax lady, we're professionals."
With fifteen years of experience of cow descending, there's not a bovine around that cannot be got downstairs by Bovine Descenders. We are fully equipped with the latest in bovine descending technology to make the job as painless and stress-free as possible.

However, depending on your location, it may take us a little time to reach you and your upstairs cow, so, until we arrive, here are some handy "Dos and Don'ts"

Don't:
Call the fire brigade; who will just laugh at you
Attempt under any circumstances to get a cow downstairs without professional help

Do:
Keep children and pets out of the immediate area
Shut the windows to prevent any escape attempt
Put on some relaxing music; but not 'Eternal Flame' by The Bangles, which has been known to induce diarrhoea (I know it does for me!)
Get a mop and bucket ready
CALL BOVINE DESCENDERS NOW

With the quality professionals at Bovine Descenders on hand, you can rest assured that your milk will be on the breakfast table, and not on your stairs!
Great work Ally G!

More extreme sports gone wrong

I've been getting these crazy photos emailed to me lately. I'm sure they've circulated around the web like 10,000 times before and I'm the only lame ass that hasn't seen it.
But THIS one in particular baffled me. I can't tell if it's for real or not. Though it is entirely possible and is one of the reasons I'll never bungee jump.
That, and I'm fond of my retinas remaining connected to my eyeballs.

Always Have A Back Up Plan

Since Barry heard the East Alligator River in Australia's Northern Territory was misnamed, he took his chances in an extreme parachute landing, hoping the water would be a safer place to land. Barry was right, the East Alligator River WAS misnamed...

It contains crocodiles, not alligators.




Good Bye Barry.

Golden Showers, What's the Big Deal?

Since you already know my stance on certain sexual heighteners such as Sex Swings and Passion Parties, I thought I would clear the air on another uncomfortable practice many of you have not dared try.

The Golden Shower, Described by Wikipedia as such: Urolagnia (also known as urophilia) is a paraphilia involving sexual attraction to urine.
People with urolagnia often like to urinate in public, or urinate on, or be urinated on by other people, and may drink the urine. The consumption of urine is urophagia. Some like to watch others doing these things. These activities are often described by the euphemisms "golden showers" or "watersports" (which should not be confused with water sports).
As a sexual fetish, urine may be consumed or the person may bathe oneself in it. Other variations include arousal from wetting or seeing someone else wet their pants or underclothes, or wetting the bed. For some individuals the phenomenon may include a diaper fetish and/or arousal from infantilism. Watersports may also be used in a BDSM scene as a form of humiliation, sometimes involving desperation until incontinence or infantilization, sometimes physical humiliation associated with being urinated on or pressured to consume urine.
Urolagnia is sometimes associated with, or confused with, a sexual attraction to someone experiencing the discomfort or pain of a full bladder, a sadomasochistic inclination.

OK, now that you're all throughly uncomfortable with the literary word, let me tell you that I've had a Golden Shower. Many times. Though my experiences are not as exciting, or absolutely disguisting as the descriptions of above that some blessed pervert is enjoying right at this moment.
No, the golden showers I've recieved are not to reach new climax as my partner eliminates on me...
NO. My kids piss on me.
It hadn't happened to me in quite some time. Having a daughter now, reduces some of the risk I had become all to aware of with having a son first. With a baby boy, it is no different than what you see in the movies as slapstick comedy. You're changing the diaper of your beautiful baby boy, and all of a sudden there is an amazing stream of piss shooting over your head not unlike the water and lights shows in Vegas. In a mad panic, you place your hand over the infant geiser in an attempt to sustain any further damage, but it can't be contained. I wouldn't think thier urethras would even be so strong to produce such velocity!
After 7 or 8 times of getting doused in the face with my sons "refined formula", I learned how to efficeintly change Vinny without the Golden Shower. I can't tell you how many times had to wash that wall though after fine tuning my cat-like reflexes to save myself from complete urination devastation.

Well, Last night, my daughter gave me a "golden shower".
(I can just see some perve trying to look up info on this subject on the web, when my blog pops up, next thing you know-- I'm whisked to jail for sexually assulting an infant by my own confession)
As I was attempting to change Maddy, she began squirming, like she ALWAYS does now. So, Keeping ONE hand on her, I bent down to grab a toy to distract her so I could finish the job.
(boy, this is sounding more & more incriminating as I go on)
As she was delightfully intrigued by her lights and sounds toy, I removed the old diaper from beneath her. As I was cleaning her up, I noticed her little eyes light up and she smiled at me. Mommy that I am, I went to give her a little eskimo kiss on her button nose, when all of a sudden, I feel a warm rush of fluid all over my hand and it began running down my wrist and arm. This quickly turned into a difficult situation. Her PJ's were sopping wet, the changing mat was soaked, and I'm forced to wipe my pee'd on arm in my t-shirt so I can tend to Miss Madison who has made an extreme mess of things. The only thought that ran through my head at that moment was how I could remove my t-shirt without pulling it over my head.

So, as I have contemplated different sexual experiences, weighing the pros and cons evenly, I've decided that anything my child has done to me before a sexual partner has, is definitely on my "don't touch it" list.
Maybe I'll play it safe and go with the "Dirty Sanchez" next time.

Fed Up US Troops Draw Up Own Exit Strategy

Citing the Bush Administrations ongoing refusal to provide a timetable for withdrawl, the US troops stationed in Iraq have devised their own exit strategy.

In a striking rebuke of the assertions that a swift exit is neither practical or possable, solidiers of varying rank have outlined a straightforward plan of immediate disengagement, dubbed "Operation Screw This."

Staff Sgt. Cornelieus Woods was later seen gelaming at the chalk laid exodus schematics as he rested his hands on his utility belt and assuringly nodded, "Yes-Sir-EEE-Bob, it's a good plan, it's a good plan. By this time tomorrow, we will have retaken our positions at our families' dinner tables in full force"

Put the apple pie on the window sill to cool and get your laundry hung outside. The troops are coming home.

Rumored "Facts" I want to put to rest

If you're like me, you get tons of emails from "friends" that have all of these funny, unknown facts for you to waste your time reading. Thses "friends" never bother to write anything to you personally, they just forward all of this shit to you. And if you're like me, you read it, at least most of the time.
Well since the blogosphere is worldwide, I want to display some of these
So- called facts up here that deal with culture and sex. My intent is that hopefully, readers FROM those countries and cultures respond and put my mind at ease with the knowledge of truth.
Are they true or false?:

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animalis punishable by death.

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sexorgans of the deceased must be coveredwith a brick or piece of wood at all times.
(A brick??)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins,who pay them for the privilege of having sex forthe first time
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only doso with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England but only in tropical fish stores.

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. ( I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that havesex for pleasure. That one I already knew.

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight (knew that), can pull 30 times its own weight (knew that) and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. WTF?!?(From drinking little bottles of ... ?)

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in halfmore than seven (7) times. This I've herad before and I want to know

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are 50 years of age or older
(Then by the time Bush finishes out his second term, Oak Trees will be gone)

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first " Marlboro Man. BIG SURPRISE, this I don't doubt is fact.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice. He was a tormented man

Pearls melt in vinegar.

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

And ... Turtles can breathe through their butts.

If I can't get any confirmation from people about these, I'm going out and getting a dolphin, a drunken ant, a coconut, paper, a donkey and my step brother (inside joke) , some pearls and vinegar (wasn't that a Tampax ad campaign?)
a cow with a stairmaster, and a duck in a tunnel.
The toothbrush and the turtle breathing through it's ass I'll take as fact and not put my hypothesis' to the test.
If you're like me, you want to know too...if you're not like me, I apoligize. You need to leave now.

Addy's Friend of the Day in 2006

Bet you thought I ran out of Friends to write about didn't ya'???

As you can see, I haven't even remotely begun!





I have more great friends you're going to meet very soon, it's just that if I devoted as much time to this as SOME people I know....
you'd see me on Divorce Court fighting for my half of the couch! Well, he could have the couch and his tv, I'd have to find a way to move our 2000 lb bedroom furniture!
Instead, you'll have to be patient and be prepared to meet Addy's First Friend of the Day for the year 2006!

Friday Funny

Because a squirrel on waterskis is ALWAYS funny

Random Blog Visit

While I was visiting other random blogs, I found bathers blog and he had some fun little tidbits on his site. One of which was how to destroy a blog
(his blog, not yours --stop worrying) with what looks like spray paint, you even get a can to assist you in your blog tagging. Or you could splatter oatmeal all over a personal {un} favorite post. I'm going to have to learn this magical way and take my newest findings over to Aaron's place.
However the one thing that floored me was a link Banthers had to The Toast Shop.

Life too hectic to make toast? Have it delivered right to your post!
WTF! Well all I can say is it's the UK.

Think they'll deliver to Milwaukee? My kids are real hungry.

Will You Marry Me Boy?

No, not this guy on the cover of M Magazine, keep reading...

Here is the much anticipated tear sheet I've been waiting for.
"M" Magazine ran this photo for their special bridal section. Not to seem petty, but I saw some shots that were a lot better than this one that ended up in the spread. Though I do understand that the magazine has clients they need to satisfy by delivering the end product they've been paid to advertise, that being the dress and the very heavy, jewelry. As the model, I'm looking for the best shot of ME so I can advertise MY product in the best light. Luckily, I can get some of the other shots that weren't used to put in my portfolio. I admit, it was a lot of fun to do! And though it doesn't look like I'm doing much, that pose was one of the most uncomfortable poses I had to strike. Again, the dress doesn't show it, but my entire body is about as "S" shaped as I could get it, which is why the pose works for this gown.
So get your butt out to the bookstore and get your copy of M Magazine. C'mon, It's only a buck fifty. I got my extra copies at Barnes and Noble. There are two different covers for the magazine as they deliver to different parts of Milwaukee, but most of the same info is in both editions, including the bridal layout.
I'm really breaking through in this industry, I can feel it.

Aaron, you're the man, I think.

I'm friends with the guy who just got on to Charlie Sykes blogroll. It's like the seven degrees of Kevin Bacon game. I feel so special, it's like I'm on there too since I'm such great buddies with Aaron. Charlie wouldn't know what to do with my ramblings except block them from ever gracing his pages!

I must congratulate my friend Aaron on a job well done. Groveling is a lost art form and Aaron did what he had to do to get noticed by the people he needed to notice him. Is that right?

I've never been that into the whole politics ring. I keep up just enough to stay current, and it has been something I've wanted to further educate myself on. With Aarons blog, I feel comfortable reading his information and hopping over to his linked "blogfathers" as they're know as. Without Aaron, I probably wouldn't have given them a second look, as I'm sure they would have done with my blog.
If you're not from Wi or just don't know who Charlie Sykes is, I'll let you find that out on your own.
The question that first popped in my mind when I saw this news of Aaron's grand accomplishment, was immediately answered by the man himself:

"Now that Charlie has granted what has been my lifelong wish for the past month, I'm going to have to find a new purpose in life."

Maybe try finishing your West Allis home so your friends can finally come over!

James Denton: Addy's hot new friend

This weekend, I had the pleasure to meet Desperate Housewives naughty plumber, James Denton. James plays the character of Mike, who has been Susan's love interest (Played by Terri Hatcher, also hot) since the inception of this addictive show. Though James did say Susan's character wil be moving on to another love interest, a docter, in the next few episodes.
I asked Jamie about his involvement with Country singer, Deana Carter. It was rumored that her hit song "Strawberry Wine"(one of my personal favs) was written about him. Jamie put the rumor to rest and verified that the rumor was true. They dated through high school and college, and, well maybe Deana's lyrics better explain:

He was workin' through college,
on my grandpas farm.
I was thirstin' for knowledge,
and he had a car.
Yeah, I was caught somewhere
between a woman and a child
One restless summer we found
love growing wild. On the
banks of a river, on a
well beaten path, it's funny
how those memories they last
like stawberry wine,
seventeen
the hot July moon,
saw everything.
My first taste of love,
oh, bittersweet, but green on
the vine...
like strawberry wine.

I still remember,
when 30 was old
my biggest fear was spetember,
when he had to go.
I few cards and letters
and one long distance call
we drifted away
like the leaves in the fall
But year after year I come back to this place
just to remember the taste...
of strawberry wine
seventeen
the hot July moon
saw everything
my first taste of love
woah, bittersweet
but green on the vine
like strawberry wine

The fields have grown over
now
years since they've seen the plow
there's nothin' time
hasn't touched,
was it really him
or the loss of
my innocence
I'd been missin' so much

blah blah wine, seventeen
somethin about a moon
nutterbutters are sweet...

Anyway, thats the song, and I told Jamie that now every time I hear it, I think of HIM.
Truth to be told, if I had any innocence left to lose, I'd let him be the one to find it!
Hear me out, it's not like he's the most amazing man I've ever laid eyes on, by marital obligation I have to say Kevin is, but Denton has that same quality guys label women as "the girl next door".
He's the boy next door. Innocent looking, but those are usually the most dangerous ones...And I dig that about a man. So I wanted to see what kind of a Desperate Housewife I would be on the show. Since we're such good pals and all, I may get a walk on role one day! -Right.
So I'm going to take the Desperate Housewives Test

Maybe I'd be Mikes kind of girl if I moved on to Wisteria Lane!
Even he's laughing at me. I'm probably not Mike's type, but it's worth a try. I'm someone's kind of girl.










Oddly enough, I came up as Gabrielle. I thought for sure I was more of a Susan. It must have been the fashion ???'s because we're not even CLOSE to having a hot gardener or money. If I only Looked like Gabrielle, than I'd be happy, as would Kevin I'm sure.

Here was my description:
You could say that life's just about pretty dresses and expensive gifts to you, but you're looking for something more. You'll find it someday, as long as you can stay out of trouble. And away from hot, young Gardeners.
I took the test twice, different ???'s, same result. I've got to satrt watching the show more so I know how to act, or how NOT to act!

Please excuse the Cattywhompusness of my blog. I'm attempting to redesign some things and it's taking longer than anticipated. I may have to call in my own personal Geek Squad for this.

AARON! AAARRROOOOONNN! I need you Geeky expertise!

40 questions

40 Questions
Everyone should be able to answer 40 Questions about themselves.

My uncle once: took me to Toys R Us when I was 8 and bought me a stuffed unicorn, I still have today, and he got me my 1st pair of L.A. Gear.
Never in my life: have I slept with two people at the same time. There was at least a couple hours in between LOL
When I was five: I would pretend to be a gymnast, get a running start across the living room and do a hand stand on our couch. Hours of fun!
High School was: a sham
I will never forget: The excrutiating pain of child birth. Sure, the exact memory fades with time, but it will always stay with me. *shudder*
I once met: up with an ex for coffee...yeeeaaahhh....... (Kevin, this was before you honey)
There's this girl I know who: can touch her toungue to her nose
Once, at a bar: I gave a groom- to-be my sock for his bachelor party to-do list, because I wasn't wearinig panties.
By noon, I'm usually: watching Sesame Street with my kids
Last night: I watched the movie "CLOSER". Good flick
If I only had: A couple million and a new set of boobs...
Next time I go to church: I'm making a habit of it
Terry Shiavo: tragic shame.
What worries me most: If my children will grow up to be the outstanding people I know they are, and that they have both parents available to them.
When I turn my head left, I see: My kids amazing playroom that gives Chuck E. Cheese a run for his money
When I turn my head right, I see: the faux finish Kevin and I put on our new foyer walls. It's a warm stone base with copper brushed over it. And I also see the Italian half round painting of the Marignolle Garderns. Most $$$ I've ever spent on 'decor.
You know I'm lying when: I tell you.
What I miss most about the eighties: Saturday morning cartoons and the WWF on Sunday morning
If I was a character in Shakespeare, I'd be: Queen Mab, coming to you in your dreams
By this time next year: I'll be getting in tip-top-do-me shape for my sister-in-laws- wedding in Jamaica
A better name for me would be: Miss Passionate Creativity
I have a hard time understanding: Any mathematics above idiots algebra
If I ever go back to school, I'll: really graduate, for the first time since 8th grade
You know I like you if: I tease you.
If I ever won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: probably my dad
Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: Survival of the fittest (my motto), beauty, men, & Walter Mondale
Take my advice, never: be satisfied, always push forward.
My ideal breakfast is: thick cut bacon, with no visable grissle, hash browns with a little onion and tons of cheese, a belgium waffle with strawberries and whip creme and corned beef hash, out of the can. Yeah baby! Wait- Am I pregnant again?
A song I love, but do not own is: Everything I do I do it for you, by Bryan Adams. Sappy, I know
If you visit my hometown, I suggest: coming after winter, around June, visiting the Zoo, taking the Milwaukee Brewery Trifecta (Miller Sprecher & Lake Front) and doing the polka --in that exact order
Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: Yellow Roses, sensitivity, Ruffles chips & volleyball stars
Why won't people: understand that we're all the same? So very amazingly different but the same.
If you spend the night at my house: You've got your pick from the castle room, the jungle room, or the 14ft couch. In any instance, you'll probably wake up with an animal on your face.
I'd stop my wedding for: my dog if he died. It ALMOST happened
The world could do without: greed and fleas
I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat ANYTHING on Fear Factor
My favorite blonde is: Rita Hayworth
Paper clips are more useful than: soggy cereal
If I do anything well, it's: well, you'll have to ask my husband!
And by the way: my favorite saying is, "Life is not measured by how many breaths you take, but by how many things take your breath away" Probably doesn't hold the same feelings for asthmatics though.

I Got the Shout Out Diggity

If you've read some of my previous posts, more likely than not, you've seen a link to a blog entitled Mitchieville
I began visiting them after a random introduction that included me clicking the "next blog" button. There, I read a post about Canada wanting to invade the US. Normally, I laugh at such things, but I didn't understand at the time, the tounge-and-cheek writing that comes off as very legitimate when you first read it. So I blogged about it, and also made a half-assed comment on their blog.
Well, that opened the flood gates and it was open Addy season for the Canadians. The mounties came in here with fingers blazing as they slew stereo types about farmers and cheese all over my post. It really was good fun, and since, I visit Mitchieville every now and again, and they grace my pages occasionally as well.

So when I visited them today, I was shocked (and a little nervous) when I glanced down their latest posts and saw my name. Needless to say, my fears were unfounded because the Mayor gave me a very nice "shout out" as we say in the hood. I'll give ya' a few scribbles of what the Mayor had to say, but you should go visit Mithieville yourself and be the Neosporin on that US/Canadian papercut that never seems to fade...

I have to tell you something before I continue. Addy has two children and a husband who she dearly loves. I know that, you know that,
the mute half-wit at the end of the street knows that. She loves her kids, she
loves her husband, she probably somehow even loves living in Wisconsin.

Now, I'm going to try to say this with all the respect she deserves, and no pervertedness on my part, but Addy could be one of the most beautiful women that I have ever seen in my life. Seriously, go to her September archives and scroll down, I'll wait right here, there's no rush.

AND HE WAITED...

See! Didn't I tell you.

I'm not trying to embarrass Addy, but there's also a pic of her and three girlfriends that when I first saw it I immediately screamed, "God Bless America". And I'm Canadian. Of all my years of surfing the net, I have to tell you that it is the finest picture of four clothed women, that haven't been PhotoShopped, that I have ever seen, Well, close anyway.

This is the picture I think he was referring to

And the generous Mayor even shared with his Mitchieville followers, a little about Kevin:

BTW, her husband is in the military, so don't be stupid and leave a hee-haw comment when you go see her pic, or he'll most likely look you up and rip out your spine and beat you to death with it.

He knows me so well.

So I'm going to put up a permanent link to Mitchieville on my blog. May not be a big thing for most of you, since everyone seems to have 20 or 30 links to other blogs posted on theirs. For me, it's an important thing. I only have a link to Aaron's blog on here and it's because Aaron put it on here himself! The only reason I haven't done it more is because html coding scares me a little and I'm not quite profecient in it yet.

Come Hell or High Water I will honor my Canadian pals with the "shout back" that they deserve. Yeah, that was kinda' gay but it came from the heart.

Now go Visit Mitchieville you computer crack addicts!

And since I scored very low on the subject of Pride when I took the 7 Deadly Sins Quiz I feel confidant that I can post up some of my other photos here without being completely full of myself. The Mayor said we were such good friends that I could send him photos of myself. Well this is the next best (and only) other option I offer to shamelessy boost my blogger traffic. Maybe I'll lay Aaron's hit counter to rest. Probably not. He's got a devoted following, rightfully so. But he's not ME.

I was a Bacardi girl. Yeah,trashy I know!But Fun!

I'm really not that much taller than this male model. I'm just standing on a raised platform.

This one to the right was always my dad's favorite pic. I look like a cheerleader with that french poodle hair!

Court to decide if Jesus is REAL

ROME (Reuters) - Forget the U.S. debate over intelligent design versus evolution.
Addy's question of the day:
So that whole "Seperation of Church and State" thing is ok to omit when an atheist needs to prove HIS point?
I couldn't believe this when I read it and I had to post the entire article for everyone to read

An Italian court is tackling Jesus -- and whether the Roman Catholic Church may be breaking the law by teaching that he existed 2,000 years ago.
The case pits against each other two men in their 70s, who are from the same central Italian town and even went to the same seminary school in their teenage years.

I can just hear the music from "The Peoples Court" playing as I read this.

The defendant, Enrico Righi, went on to become a priest writing for the parish newspaper. The plaintiff, Luigi Cascioli, became a vocal atheist who, after years of legal wrangling, is set to get his day in court later this month.
"I started this lawsuit because I wanted to deal the final blow against the Church, the bearer of obscurantism and regression," Cascioli told Reuters.
Cascioli says Righi, and by extension the whole Church, broke two Italian laws. The first is "Abuso di Credulita Popolare" (Abuse of Popular Belief) meant to protect people against being swindled or conned. The second crime, he says, is "Sostituzione di Persona", or impersonation.
"The Church constructed Christ upon the personality of John of Gamala," Cascioli claimed, referring to the 1st century Jew who fought against the Roman army.
A court in Viterbo will hear from Righi, who has yet to be indicted, at a January 27 preliminary hearing meant to determine whether the case has enough merit to go forward.

"In my book, The Fable of Christ, I present proof Jesus did not exist as a historic figure. He must now refute this by showing proof of Christ's existence," Cascioli said.

How does he have PROOF that JC didn't exist, when there are scientists and anthropologists (who are NOT religious) that have agreed, from historical data, that there was indeed a Man named Christ that lived during the time that was later written about in the Bible. The Bible, of course, had no relevance to any of the historical findings and realizations the scientific community came to in the discovery of the existance of Jesus Christ.

Speaking to Reuters, Righi, 76, sounded frustrated by the case and baffled as to why Cascioli -- who, like him, came from the town of Bagnoregio -- singled him out in his crusade against the Church.
"We're both from Bagnoregio, both of us. We were in seminary together. Then he took a different path and we didn't see each other anymore," Righi said.
"Since I'm a priest, and I write in the parish newspaper, he is now suing me because I 'trick' the people."
Righi claims there is plenty of evidence to support the existence of Jesus, including historical texts.
He also claims that justice is on his side. The judge presiding over the hearing has tried, repeatedly, to dismiss the case -- prompting appeals from Cascioli.
"Cascioli says he didn't exist. And I said that he did," he said. "The judge will to decide if Christ exists or not."
Even Cascioli admits that the odds are against him, especially in Roman Catholic Italy.
"It would take a miracle to win," he joked.

What an ass.

Gems of Milwaukee

My friend Dani just sent this to me, so I posted it right away. This is something Aaron usually gets his hands on that is actually fun, so I was happy to have it here first. You don't HAVE to vote for the Pabst mansion, anything you love in Milwaukee will help this cause. We complain a lot, but we do have a nice city, if you give it a chance.

Voting for the Gems of Milwaukee

In conjunction with the City of Milwaukee’s 160th City Birthday Party, the Milwaukee Press Club has launched a Gems of Milwaukee survey for people to vote for their favorite things about Milwaukee . . . whether it’s the lakefront or a specific business/attraction. The Pabst Mansion is on the list and this is where you come in. We are asking all of our supporters to cast a vote for the Pabst Mansion and any of the other wonderful Milwaukee gems. We’ve always known that the Pabst Mansion is a hidden gem of Milwaukee but this is a chance to let everyone know that we are here. So take a moment to cast your vote at www.gemsofmilwaukee.com. Voting will continue until January 11th – or there about! The top 10 “Gems of Milwaukee” will be announced at the City Birthday Party on January 25th at the Hilton Milwaukee City Center. For more information on the party or the program, visit the Milwaukee Press Club web site at www.milwaukeepressclub.org

If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, TRY THIS:

Enter Mexico illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.

Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and you entire family.

Demand Bilingual nurses and doctors.

Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc. Procreate abundantly.

Deflect any critisism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, "Is is a cultural USA thing. You would not understand pal."

Keep your American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from your rooftop or proudly display in your front window, on your car bumper, or heck, drape it off of your shoulders and run around with it looking like SuperMan.

Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise.

Demand classes on the American Culture in the Mexican school system.

Demand a local Mexican drivers license. This will afford other legal RIGHTS and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal presense in Mexico. Oh, and bring someone with you to help you if you need to take a written drivers test. Most likely it will be in Spanish, and even if there is a test in English for you, two minds are better than one, right?

Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic laws. On the fourth of July, feel free to drive through all red lights, blaring your horn as you do so.

Insist that local Mexican law enforcement teach English to all it's officers.
Good Luck! You'll be demanding for the rest of time or soon be dead.

BECAUSE IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. It will not happen in Mexico or ANY other country in the world except right here in the United States, Land of the naive and stupid, idiotic politically correct polliticians.

If you agree, you probably grew up on the Southside of Milwaukee like me, or Chicago, parts of Florida, Texas, or virtually anywhere of California.
If you don't agree, go ahead and try the above in Mexico or Iraq

New Years Resolution #4 --Sin Better

Trying to be a better person in 2006? Volunteer more, donate to worthy causes. Did Hurricane Katrina and the lasting effects of the Tsunami have you rethinking your devotion to your fellow man?

If your thinking falls more in line with "Morals" and "Evil" vs "Good decision" and "Bad decision" then this next test is for you.


This is a test of the Seven Deadly Sins. The sins we practice in our short mortal lives that will determine how many hell worthy trepasses will seal our fate for eternity into the Ocularis Infernum.
If not for the intriguing preformances by Morgan Freeman and the very young and sexy Brad Pitt in the movie "7", most of you probably wouldn't know anything about these.
Thanks to a catholic up bringing, I'm well versed with 7 deadly sins, and unfortunately, have tried all of them- a few times. Some more so than others.

And you'll know which ones you favor more when you take this test yourselves.
I'll take the test and post my results up here so you can all revel in what a sinful little kitten I am!
Hopefully my husband won't leave me when he finds out I'm not still a virgin.

So here are my results.... it appears that Lust is the mortal sin that will do me in. Hey, if ya' gotta go, what better way?!?

Greed:	Very Low
Gluttony:	Low
Wrath:	Very Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Low
Lust:	High
Pride:	Very Low

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz
Now I DARE you to have the moral balls to post your results for all to see your sinful ways. I answered honestly, and so should you, otherwise you're going STRAIGHT to hell!

My Favorite Christmas Present of 2005

I forgot to ask/share what the favorite gifts of your holiday season's were. How rude and insensitive of me!

I know two of my friends enjoyed a TOBO's Blue Light Special $10.00 Sex Swing. I wasn't so lucky with that though.

However, I did get diamond earrings from my wonderful husband. Sparkle! Sparkle!
And yes, Kevin, I do love them. They match beautifully with the diamond necklace he gave me for my birthday 3 years ago, and of course, with my bling bling wedding ring.

Some men just know. Ya' know. So what did YOU get???

What's my fashion Style?

So I sometimes surf around blogspot to see what the others dedicate their blog time to.
I always run into suicidal teens, blogs devoted to soccer, and mega tons of photographic artistic expressionism. Although the picture of a cat that had been run over, was not what this animal lover would consider ART.

I stumbled upon a blog entitled Maes Day and she had this link on there that would tell you what your fashion style is. Kind of like the tests you would take in Cosmo, but here you can't cheat and flip to the answers a couple of pages ahead to influence your would be true answers.
Being The DIVA I am, I decided to permanently post it on my blog so anyone at anytime can see what fashion sense they have. It's a chick thing, but the HTML business always gets the best of me, so I safely attached it at the very BOTTOM of my page. So if you want to take the test, you'll have to scroll through all of my current posts- ya lazy bastards.
Anyway, my fashion style was Classic. Here is how I was described...

You like what's stood the test of time...Simple, well styled clothes that don't scream trendy. You stay updated and modern, but your clothes stay in style for a while. You wouldn't be caught in animal prints, fake fur, or super bright colors .

Though I have worn faux fur, I wouldn't dream of wearing the real stuff. Animal prints have never been my thing, unless their still on the LIVE animal, and super bright colors aren't really my bag either. All in all, it was pretty acurate. Now I'd like to see some fellas' take the test and let me know how they scored.
Thanks for the fun Mae!

Taxi Cab Vengence

Ever been in a cab with an insane driver and all you could do was pray you made it to your destination in one piece?

And, unless you were on the show, Taxicab confessions (too), chances are you never got to see what you looked like, helpless in the back of that cab.

Well, now it's your turn to be in the drivers seat. Turn up your speakers, get your beaded seat covers and you gold crown air freshener and...

Let the ride begin.

Happy New Year!

HAPPY 2006 BLOGHEADS!!!

They Look Like a Wild Bunch Don't they?

We hosted a New Years party at our house and besides the fact that Aaron was there, it was a smashing success! Kidding Aaron, your life force is always welcome at the homestead.
We grilled out, steaks for all, and we even bought shrimp for our guests, though I completely despise shrimp myself. Kev said it tasted funny though. Oh well.
We were a smaller group of ten or so, but we managed to go through 3 bottles of champaign, two cases of Miller, a bucket of daquries and I lost count of how many speciality beers, lagers and microbrews were consumed between the seemingly never-ending, uncut version of "The 40 Year Old Virgin" and 6 am, when we finally retired on New Years Day. We were missing two key assests from our Year's End Transitional Soiree...Jeff and Jessica. They decided to celebrate at home in light of Jess' final chemo treatment. Great news it was the LAST treatment, bad news, she wasn't feeling too hot. So we made sure to call them at midnight, in complete drunken stoopers and wish them a kick ass 2006.

(On the Left): That New Year's hat is strategiclly placed on Aaron's "groinal" region as he nose dives into Kellys lap!

Then we karaokeed a bit, at least the few of us that weren't P*ssys about it. Don't adjust your computer screens, that is the true size of my husbands tv.

I came to the realization that though he is super frickin' intelligent, our friend Dan can't play "the name game" worth a damn...at least when he's toasted. For example, Dan's Top 2 Name Game Answers: Sally Struthers and Mickey Mouse. Even Rex had to step in to give Danno some name game tips...

" Say Rin Tin Tin, you silly bastard"

And when I figure out how to attach video clips, You'll be able to ring in 2006 with Dweebs, Geeks and weirdos, EVERYDAY!