Assistant Director, Not Director's Assistant

It is rare indeed when I agree with my friend Aaron on anything.
It's just always more fun to disagree with an engineer and watch them pull logarithm's out of their ass to explain the function of a dish towel.

BUT, I did have to agree with him on one of his (many) recent blog additions about loving what you do and getting paid for it. I always thought that I'd be an MD of Veterinary Medicine by now or on my way to completing my zoology degree. But alas, the rigorous family life held me from my studies....darn, shucks, no school. Not like those jobs pay well anyway, sorry Cy. It truely is a labor of love. You have the brains and the training of an MD, but you're paid like a custodial engineer. Both fancy titles - with shit for pay! : )

Speaking of fancy titles, this brings me to the point of this blog entry.
I've accepted a position at the modeling agency that I've had contracts with for almost ten years.
It's not just any position, I'm the Assistant Director of Model and Talent Management,
a branch of John Casablanca's which is owned by ELITE. Pretty impressive huh.
And Aaron's bragging about working for the water treatment plant at Jone's Island. I'm making the "loser" sign right now, hard to type.

Anyway, I was joking with my boss about my title as she was ordering business cards for me.
I commented about the wording of the title,
"There's a difference between being the Assistant Director, and being the Directors Assistant."
To me, one means dealing with clients, models and big time accounts, and the other deals with ordering Pam's coffee and walking her dog on a diamond studded leash. Luckily I'm considered as the Assistant Director.
Another job, with a fancy title, that just isn't paying what it should. At least for now. But I'm the go -to girl, if anything happens to Pam (God forbid) - I'm it!!!!

I do enjoy being back in a working environment, and Pam is very flexiable with my situation since she had 4 kids, she know s what it's like to try and balance work and family. Family is always first.
The modeling industry is a fascinating arena. I've lost touch with the pagaentry and over the top attitudes that comes with it. Even for a small area like Milwaukee, we're still so close to Chicago that people can taste New York.
Though now the tides have turned a bit.
Where I was once the shy and timid little model, okay maybe not shy and probably never little, I was intimidated by other models with the New York attitude and Milwaukee paychecks, or the big wig photographers making me feel stupid..."What do you mean you can't get your toe in your mouth? Cindy and Tyra do it all the time."
Now I'm the one they come groveling to, begging to promote deodorant at Walmart.
Not unlike the Almighty Himself, Retribution presents itself in strange and fascinating ways.

Sir Mix A lot said it best in his greatest hit, "Baby Got Back" when he spit
"To those bean pole dames in tha' magazines, you ain't it Miss Thang..."
Cause you gotta go through me now! And if the job calls for a spunky red head, mid 20's, 5'8",
12o something, with clothes to conceal the history of 2 kids, I ain't calling you.

P.S. Don't send me your pictures, I'm sure you're all hotties worthy of gracing the cover of Vogue,
but blogging is not an efficient way of recruiting models, at least not this blog.

The Jello Chronicles

Never equip a 22 month old boy with a cup of red jello, a spoon, and free will.

New Name, Same Great Taste

Yes, I've finally changed my blogs' infamous title, though I will always remember the MILF days. lol

I thought I'd go with something equally as confusing as not to throw anyone off about my true intent.
As Shakespear said, "Whats in a name? A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet"
And so, here I am, transforming from Capulet to Montegue, hoping it will calm the blog waters of the recent concern I've caused some individuals.

Something I should really clear up here since I've got your attention, at least the two of you anyway. I have always been a fan of
"Free Association Writing".

I'm sure it's the same procedure shrinks and lawyers have their serial killer clients do just to clear their conscience of any wrong doing they MAY have committed.
Basically, you write "off the cuff" as the thoughts flow into your mind.
I believe it's the most honest form of journaling.

With my blog, I've written about whatever fancied me at the moment, whatever was floating around in the old melon at that very second.
I don't reasearch CNN articles to look for the latest debate topic in politics, and I don't think about what would interest my readers. I'm not a publisher, just a blogger letting my ideas and parts of my personal life take a jog around the internet to see who they may meet.
If you want debate topics and Bob Villa tips of the day, visit Aarons blog.
He's GREAT at that. www.sub2change.blogspot.com

It was never my intension to hint at even the slightest notion that I am unhappy with my marriage or my family. Quite the opposite actually.
Do I get a little frumpy when my hubby is gone for a week and I'm forced to go it alone with my 2 bundles of energy, 5 balls of fur and a 65 year old father constantly telling me what I'm doing wrong? Yeah that'll do it. But I wouldn't change it if I could.

And as I've told a few friends as they (very lovingly) came to me with their concerns,
"If I went on and on about the mind blowing sex Kevin and I have on a somewhat regular basis and gave you minute to minute, or hour to hour coverage, you'd probably talk to me even less than you do now!"
Of course I was joking, as I do often enough, my point was that the topics I chose to discuss were not supposed to be an indicator of any family or marital strife.

Ask anyone who is married, been married, or just has children and they'll tell you that there are times they just need to leave the room to get a little alone time from the chaos that ensumes in the familial environment.

Just today my husband sent me an email about how women were like hurricanes, they come on fast, hot and wet, but by the time they're done, your house, car, etc are gone.
Or how 'bout this one,
"A Man Is Incomplete Until He's Married, Then He's Finished"
I bet that one was a chinese proverb!
See, it's okay for men to joke at little things like that, but bring up the word MILF and they're ready to reinstate Saddam to keep me in line.
Ha! There was my political joke.

Bottom line. I love my husband, I love my kids.
Have I put that life long dream of going to Africa on the back burner for now? Yes,
But will I be in my early 40's when I kick my kids out of my house so I can start packing for Kilimanjaro?
...I've already picked out out my underwear.

Blogging Rights

I promised myself that I wouldn't have one of those "MOMMY BLOGS" where all I discuss is the size, color, and odor of Diaper Deposits as I call them.
Not that there's anything wrong with mommy blogs, I actually enjoy reading them myself, it's just that my blog was supposed to be a break from mommyhood for me.
My own little vacation if you will.
Well we all know that vacation is only vacation if you have a job to go back to afterwards, otherwise you're not on a vacation, you're just hopelessly unemployed. If I spent all my avaliable blog time talking about my critters, I'm sure I'd be voted right off of this site - Survivor style.
But to be fair, I thought I should introduce the reasoning behind my blog, and why it was named Vinny's Mom's A MILF.
The little man in the pool is Mr. Vinny.
He is one of the neatest human beings I've ever encountered, and that's not just because he's mine either.

And above him is Miss Madison. She's a little chunk-o just like Vinny was at that age. But she's so much more interactive than Vinny was.
My dad says it's "because she's a female, of course she's going to talk sooner and see everything, thats what women do."
Thanks dad.
So these are my reasons for being.
The reasons I wake up in the morning when I don't want to.
The reasons I'm thinking about the wellness of my life 20 years from now.
The reasons I no longer fit into my size 4's.
And the reasons I'm on the birth control patch.
They entirely control my life and my heart, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

I've finally mastered posting photos!

So here it is, the much debated photo I've wrestled with posting on my blog. Now this isn't a snapshot that was just taken in my backyard,
(actually this was at a shoot in Chicago) but it isn't a glamour shot either.
I like this photo because it's basically what I look like on a day to day basis - a lot like Aaron's photo on his blog, minus the black dress and "do-me" boots.
Nothing done much to my hair, except that it's combed, and some days not even that,
some make-up, but I don't look like a member of the Insane Clown Posse. I was also 3 months pregnant with my daughter in this photo (love ya' Maddy)

So this is me in a nut shell, sarcasim and all.
If you don't like it - BLOG OFF!

To Be A MILF Or Not To Be A MILF, That Is The Question

I just got off the phone with my wonderful, loving husband.
It was so good to hear his voice. I told him what I've been doing these past few days, and how I set up a blog just to annoy Aaron. He laughed. I told him that I named my blog "Vinny's Mom's a MILF" and how I heard that Aaron didn't like it too much - which was all part of my diabolical plan... heh heh heh
Well it turns out that my husband didn't like the name either
(evil republican electrical engineers sticking together)
When I asked him why he thought Aaron didn't approve of my blog title,

Kevin replied,
"because it has to do with cheating, thats why he doesn't like it."
Well I highly doubt thats Aaron's reason, but whatever.
Now I was never under the impression that a MILF dealt with infidelity.
Let me clarify the mnemonics for those of you who may be lost.
In the movie, American Pie, we are introduced to two highschool boys at a house party who come across a picture of, "the woman of the house"

(Stiffler's mom as she came to be known) the boys, very drunk, stand staring at the picture when the one says "Oh man, Stifflers mom's a MILF".

When his friend asks him what a MILF is, the guy replies,
"M-I-L-F, Mom I'd Love to F*$K".
I can't tell you how hard I laughed when I saw that for the first time.

Of course we come to find out that Stiffler's friend, Paul Finch, ends up having sex with Stifflers mom on prom night.
Well, I thought that this was a hilariously attention grabbing title for my blog, it's just that sence of humor I warned you about.
So after my husband told me that he, and apparently other people think a MILF has to do with cheating, I did some research in my defense.
At no time in the movie is there mention of Stifflers dad being around, in fact, Stifflers mom is divorced.
So the fact that she slept with a 17 year old boy may be a problem in some folks eyes, but at no time was she cheating.
Now, I'm a young mother, and I think that I am somewhat attractive, at least with a full face of make up and a wonder bra. lol
So the idea of dubbing myself as a MILF may prompt some to strongly disagree, and thats fine; because it would cause people to react to my blog site,

and isn't that really why we all do this?
On the other hand, some may see a picture of me and say, "yeah, she is a MILF" and for those 8 of you out there I am eternally grateful. lol
Doesn't everyone need a little self assurance from time to time?
Someone to tell you that you look nice today, or have a great personality.
It doesn't mean that if some 17 year old blogger said he thought I was a MILF, that I'd leave my husband and the fantastic life I've built with him! C'mon.
Maybe naming my site "Vinny's mom's a MILF" wasn't the best title I could've come up with, but it's been a while since creative writing, and like I said before,

I only started this blog to piss off my friend Aaron.

It's how we show we care in this circle of friends.
First, I have to learn how to post my photo up here, then I'll change the title of my blog, and I will leave it up to you whether or not I accurately portrayed myself.
If anyone should be offended by being called a MILF, it should be me,

and if I don't care,
why should my husband, or my husband's friends for that matter?
Maybe they're just looking out for me, like they are when they don't want me going out to a dance club with close friends. Men are so confusing.

MILF out.

cupcakes for dinner and a side of sexual freedom please

So I've just returned home from playing my first indoor volleyball game of the season. It went okay, we lost two out of three to a deaf team. Yeah, you heard me.
So after getting home, I immediately have to pack up my sleepy children in the van, to take our 15 year old baby sitter home at 11 pm. In the meantime, I haven't eaten ALL blessed day, but I don't want to stop at a drive through because I'm afraid the ultrasonic boom of an intercom will awaken my precious little beasts, and I won't be able to eat anyway!
On a normal day, my husband would've been home and we probably would have had McDonald's or a pizza for dinner, instead I dined on a Hostess Cupcake.
When my husband is gone, oddly enough, I just don't take care of myself like I usually do.
Why is that?
I still care for my kids and my pets the same, but I just won't feel like brushing my teeth or taking off my make-up. Gross I know. Thank God I have to interact with the outside world from time to time while he's gone, otherwise I'd probably fall apart. Some model huh?
See thats just my beef though. Men think that the SECOND they leave, their women are whoopin' it up with other men. Why is that??
Why so insecure fellas?
Saturday night, I went out with my friend Kelly,
(Aaron's girlfriend if you're following his blog) and my other friend, Paul. We went to a dance club downtown called, "Have a nice day cafe" pretty funky 70's retro club. Anyway, the three of us danced, had a fishbowl, and for those of you who don't know what I'm referring to, it's an actual fishbowl...filled with alcohol and a little fruitpunch. Very yummy, even for a non drinker like me.
Now we all had our share of "LOOKS" from people, you know what I'm talking about, it's only to be expected in a place like that. Yes Aaron, even Kelly got looks from other men.
Someone even took a picture of her ass with their camera phone!
But neither of us women acted on these attractual invitations, Paul could because he's single.
Now I don't know how Aaron reacted when i rolled Kelly up to their house at 3am, but I can only imagine what may have been said later.
But why is it okay for guys to go out with their buddies for a couple of drinks, say after work or a volleyball game and the woman is supposed to feel assured that everything is innocent.
Aren't these the same assembly of men that my husband doesn't want ME around at a bar, but I'm supposed to trust that they only act like that...from time to time. Right.
I must admit though, it is good see that you might just still be attractive to the opposite sex. Maybe I'm alone in this, but since I got married, that part of my sexual radar has long since broken. And it's funny because my husband fixes radar for the military, but this is a much different frequency.
Now I won't even begin to get into how I feel about bachelor/bachelorette parties, but keeping on the topic of how the playing field is about as level as the Tower of Pisa, I'm also protesting the common misbelief that women aren't as sexually turned on by photographs, movies or anything else a man thinks is strickly taboo for a woman.
Let me tell you a little secret fellas, just like you say a guy is lying when he tells his girl he's
"just not into that stuff", woman lie about it too.
And Why is THAT?
I'm not too positive, but I think a lot of it has to do with fear - on both sides.
Women are afraid that if they reveal what they like, the man will be disgusted. Hello! It's more like intimadated. And a man is afraid that she'll think he's a pervert and never respect him again. We already know you're perverts, we just pretend we don't notice.
Now I'm not a feminist or a freak, I just can't see why we hide our true feelings from each other. Is it that much more exciting to keep it to yourself?!?
I didn't have two kids in 16 months by being shy, but there are even some things my husband and I don't talk about, and that's strange to me.
Well,
I guess we'll have something to talk about when he gets home, after I put on my B.C. patch.

Allow myself to introduce...myself

I'm just doing this off the cuff since I really knew nothing about blogging and only thought about doing it oh, ten minutes ago, after reading my friend, Aaron's blog and thought,
"Geez, if people will read and interact with him about his life, there's got to be someone out there who will understand my insanity".
That was one huge run- on. I'm sure someone would've loved to have called me on that.
I guess my train of thought with this is that it will help me retain some of my individuality, instead of just being Vinny's (and Maddy's) mom. I LOVE my children, but sometimes i feel as though I'm forgetting who I used to be before I got the amazingly complex job of wife and mother. Maybe here i can express myself and through comments from other fellow bloggers, or whatever you're called, I can become the well rounded individual I started out to be.
So if anyone has any pointers about how this blogging should go, I'm all eyes.